I'm new here

Parker J. Palmer's and Arthur Zajonc's The heart of higher education: A call to renewal (transforming the academy through collegial conversations) (the centerpiece of the most recent faculty Learning Circle in which I took part, and about which I've posted somewhat recently) gave me more than its fair share of things to think about. Many of its insights offered theoretical, even spiritual, enlightenment regarding teaching, but other insights were more practical and practicable.

One of the more down-to-earth suggestions offered up by one of the coauthors' colleagues (Patricia Owen-Smith, Professor of Psychology and Women's Studies in the Oxford College of Emory University) was a means of encouraging contemplative practice in the classroom simply by playing music to being each class period. Owen-Smith (pp. 157-161 in the above work) describes how several years ago she began the practice of playing 7-9 minutes of music at the outset of each class. She encouraged her students to "go within, be still, and listen to the self." While she admitted the difficulty of tying this contemplative practice to improvements in students' achievement of cognitive learning goals (as if this would be the purpose of playing the music in the first place!), she reports that

over time, I learned that the music and meditative moments had an impact on many students. Some students began to ask for guidance with their contemplation and reflection....By midsemester several students per class would mention that they looked forward to this nine-minute period of music. Some students began to bring music from their own collections that they found inspirational and important. As we neared the end of the semester, the structure of the class had changed from a group of individuals reluctantly gathered together for study to a community of friends and partners who were creating a space of introspection, quiet, and respect for the process of study and the development of self.

Once or twice a week for the past few weeks I've begun a similar practice in one of my classes. It began with my reading of an excerpt from Rilke's letters to Franz Kappus (a reading which moved one student so much she had to leave the room), and continued with a passage from Dick Leith's history of the English language. At one student's suggestion one morning we watched a scene from Harold and Maude, and the next day I read one of my own recently-written poems ("Ode to Ned Maddrell," which I penned for the last-living speaker of the Manx language). To open off on Monday (at the suggestion of another student) we'll take in one of Gil Scott-Heron's last videos.

This practice has developed naturally, in an easygoing fashion, and perhaps unsurprisingly it's happened in the most natural and easygoing section of any of my courses this semester. From Day One nearly every person in that section of Precalculus has worked well together, helping each other out and asking for help when help is needed. This natural ease with which we've worked together all term has made it hard for me to tell whether the contemplative practice has had a real effect on the esprit de corps of the class...

...but I'm not going to take any chances. The practice has definitely helped me to make connections between the intellectual and the personal, between the scientific and the humanistic. It's helped me to remain focused on what really matters, and it's helped to remind both me and my students that we do well to look for mathematics' usefulness...and to look for its beauty. Much like well-chosen low-stakes writing activities, this practice is well worth the few minutes of class time that it takes.

Beginning right away I'm going to introduce this practice in all of my classes. It can't hurt.

What effect can it have in a class like my current Abstract Algebra class, a room full of stressed-out work-wearied students representing, honestly, probably the greatest range of mathematical ability I've seen in one section since I began teaching at UNCA over six years ago? I admit here and now that I find myself frustrated at how I've managed this course. For some time now I've felt the need to slow its pace to accommodate the most modestly quick learners, but without sacrificing the true nature of the subject, a nature laden with often-abstract proofs. I don't know how much slowing the pace down has helped: several students are still struggling, and as much as I hate to leave them behind (I hate hate hate people who teach to the top ten percent), I simply must move on. Moreover, I sense that the slowness has led to frustration on the part of some of the class's quicker students, and I can feel cliquishness setting in...not a nice way to end the semester.

Maybe it'd be wise at this point to remind everyone that we all have a right to say "I'm new here": we're all free to make mistakes from time to time. After all, no one's lived this life before, and the future hits us all at the same time. But no matter how far you go, you can always turn around.

What say, folks? What are we going to make of our last five weeks or so together?

Where do you want me to be?

Today was, sadly, the last of four meetings of the Learning Circle I took part in this semester, on Palmer and Zajonc's The heart of higher education (about which I've posted recently before)...even sadder was the fact that I'd only been able to attend two of the four meetings, other obligations taking me out of town and off campus. I've found this text eye-opening and enriching, and the conversations surrounding it even more enriching still.

I found myself thinking out loud in the circle today, wondering what our academic lives would look like if we took ourselves out of our offices and started doing more of our work more publicly. What if I started holding office an office hour or two on the quad, or in the student union, or in the glasshouse adjacent to the library? What if my colleagues joined me in this, sharing a table with me as we worked with our students, observing firsthand how we interact with them, witnessing the kind of learning that goes on in one anothers' disciplines?

Soon might fall the disciplinary boundaries we're all quick to dismiss but unconsciously eager to maintain. At a university so dedicated as mine purports to be to the liberal arts, we ought to be all about interdisciplinary exchange that blurs distinctions between this field and that. But when it comes down to it, as often as not we retreat inside our hard-shelled departmental silos. "I'm all for interdisciplinarity," we might say, but in practice we add "as long as it happens on someone else's time."

But if we started seeing more of each other on the quad, in the union, in the glasshouse, maybe we'd know more about each other. We'd each know more about other's passions and pursuits, and more about the way the other thinks. We'd be able, at least momentarily, to adopt the other's disciplinary perspectives, and when our students ask us why they're asked to take courses in that field or this, we'd be able to tell them why, honestly, earnestly, and confidently.

If we knew more about each other, perhaps we wouldn't find the sort of territorial entrenchment I'm witnessing right now in various departments' defenses of their current curricula to the Curricular Sustainability Subgroup of CRTF which I'm heading up. Sadly, though perhaps not surprisingly, many departments' chairs are convinced of the inestimable value of their own departments' offerings, and of the waste and profligacy that must go on elsewhere in the curriculum to result in such a burdensome mess. The written responses we've received from most chairs are for the most part meticulously-crafted hagiographies telling tales of the author's department's excellence. Without doubt there is good going on in every corner of campus, but equally doubtlessly I know we're all to blame for the unsustainable burden we've taken onto our own shoulders.

If we were to meet face-to-face more often, there'd be no need for polemic; we could engage in frank but warm discussions. It's hardly a coincidence that the considerable face-to-face work the Curricular Sustainability Subgroup has done this summer and fall has been done so smoothly and so amicably. After all, it's difficult to be defensive (or to go on the offense) when your interlocutor is sitting right in front of you. Face-to-face meetings encourage warmth, empathy, and honesty. The "rocking chair conversations" Parker J. Palmer talks about in Chapter 6 of his book with Arthur Zajonc are the perfect places for real and lasting change.

I'm ready to set out some rocking chairs. I'd like to try this, if just for a few hours each week. Maybe while the weather's nice, the steps of the library might do. When it starts getting colder and darker earlier in the day, I can move to the Pinnacle in the student union. Students, colleagues, let me know: where do you want me to be?

Be afraid, but don't be afraid of your fear

Today I had a very contemplative morning. I had a good run, and it couldn't have been a nicer day for it: the air has an early-autumn crispness, and the trees a golden-green that connotes an ageless seasonal change.

I gave thought this morning to an opportunity I've recently been granted, one of which I'll soon take advantage, and which I hope will bear fruit. I can't say much of it publicly yet, but I will say that I became fully determined to make a move this morning when I realized two things:

1. I'm a little afraid of taking this chance, and

2. it's that little bit of fear that's convinced me the chance is worth taking.

I know that if things work out the way I hope they will I'll be presented with entirely new challenges I've not yet faced in my career to this point. I'll be doing a lot of learning on the fly and a lot of playing it by ear. I'll be bearing a great deal of responsibility, but also relying to a greater extent than ever before on others to help me carry out the tasks I'll be responsible for. I'll be delegating, relegating, moving and shaking, and working my tail off.

It's a bit frightening. I've almost balked once or twice because I know that though I'm qualified to take this on, and though I'm as ready as I'll ever be (and as ready as anyone could be expected to be), it'll still be a rough road. I'll definitely be outside my comfort zone. It was only just this morning that I admitted to myself that I've been a little afraid of moving down this path much further.

But you know what? That's a good thing. If we don't put ourselves in that "zone of proximal development," as Vygotsky put it, we don't put ourselves in a position to do much learning or growth. If I only ever do things that I know that I can do, that I'm utterly unafraid of doing, I'm not going to get much out of them.

These twin realizations: the presence of fear and the healthfulness, the appropriateness, of that fear, have moved me forward. I feel stronger and more whole.

There's a parallel in one of my courses right now. Yesterday I spent roughly 10 hours grading (9:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m., almost nonstop), about 7 hours on Precalculus alone. Their most recent homework sets (especially Homework 6) were challenging ones, involving complicated problems which had to be broken down into simpler subproblems. The students had mixed success in seeking solutions to these problems. Some patiently broken them down and crafted careful solutions; others were less successful, impatiently attempting to swallow the problems whole.

The problems are meant to push the students forward, to move them from a place where they feel comfortable to one where they feel challenged, and maybe just a little scared. I'm confident that the students can do what's asked of them, though, and that they have the skills needed to solve the problems I give to them if they take their time and work carefully. I'm confident that if they take time to contemplate the problems piece by piece, they'll grow in confidence and competence.

I sent the students an email just now, including a model solution to the toughest of the homework problems. Here's some of the text from that email; I hope it helps them place our work together in a healthy context:

...I also recognize that the problems I'm asking you to complete are not easy ones. Each of those on HW 6 likely took you 45 minutes apiece (maybe more) if you did them clearly, capably, carefully, and well, as many of you did. I was impressed with the neatness and precision of some of your answers!

These are not easy problems; they are challenging and probing. It's for the best: I believe that challenging problems are those most worth doing. They push us to our limits and force us to confront fully our understanding of the ideas we come up with together. I'm just relearning now (relearning from you, as much as from any other source) that those things that are most worth doing are those things that are difficult to do, that challenge us, and that, perhaps, even scare us a little.

My reflective morning's brought me other thoughts as well, about which I'll be posting throughout the week. Several stem from my ongoing reading of Parker J. Palmer's and Arthur Zajonc's The heart of higher education: A call to renewal (transforming the academy through collegial conversations) (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2010), the centerpiece of the Learning Circle I've been taking part in (when possible) this semester. The book has great richness, and has led me to reflect deeply; as I wrote to myself at one point "there's poetry on every page!"

In the next few posts I'll talk about what I've learned from an ongoing project about which here I've yet said little, about resistance to curricular change on the part of even the most well-intentioned (and change-oriented) faculty, and about my own elusive "community of scholars" Palmer and Zajonc extol on page 128 of the book I mentioned above. About all of these I've thought today.

As I said, I had a very contemplative morning.